Try Before You Buy!

So, I don't know if anyone really knows this here, but I'll just say this: Today is my Birthday! Woo Hoo! Yeah, I'm excited for sure. I am happy that today is my birthday for sure. I was just reflecting on how awesome a day it is. And without a cloud in the sky where I'm at. Beautiful for sure. Gladness.

However, as I woke up and did my usual thing I came across a video on the feed from these people who were commenting on this old show called the Virgin Diaries. It's apparently this show on TLC (The Learning Channel without much learning) where they document the lives of people who are virgins as adults (as if that's the worst thing ever to be), and there was this couple that was about to get married. They were going to be virgins on their wedding night, but even more than that, they were waiting until they were married to have their first kiss. People were like "That's going to be an interesting wedding night!" "They're in for a surprise!" "This will be interesting!" All downplaying their virginity in each and every turn, right. 

So, eventually they start kissing after the wedding is done, and it's just crazy. They are going after it, I guess, right? But what you can tell from the crowd is that they are laughing and everything. Turning their eyes in like cringing fashion. It's almost like the producers were turning this into a joke over it all. I don't know why they made this news, but they did. Just for laughs at the couple and to make them look stupid/foolish. Yeah, that's why. That's why they did this to them. And the whole "Virgin Diaries" show does that exactly for each and every one of them. It is such a horrible show. I can't believe people would just make these people out to be a laughingstock, but here they have. Thanks TLC.

You can watch the clip off of this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-SRcCGsBbc

And you can https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S-dXuT0nFg some of these news people make jokes about them as well.

After watching that, I just saw how people were making fun of them and laughing at them. I was looking at comments criticizing the two of them. People were saying how dorky the guy looks, how sheltered they were, how stupid they are for making a promise like that. They were saying things like "What if he has a small appendage", "She won't know how to do certain sex acts", "I bet their first time will be over in a minute", and "I bet the honeymoon will suck for them". Yeah, that's what was said. Another group said this marriage will be doomed for divorce, or adultery, since they will be so horrible sexually. That is what was said. All sorts of demeaning comments coming from news pundits and internet users alike. And they all settled on one thing: It's bad to stay a virgin.

Now, I guess you could say this hit a little close to home for me. Along with it being my birthday, it's a day where I celebrate another year remaining a virgin. Yup, I have remained a virgin for 27 years! And many people would openly question me and wonder how weird am I for that, I think of it as nothing short of amazing. Why, you might ask? Because it's another year where I am standing against the hypersex culture. And to me that's an honor I uphold.

And that is different to how most people look at virginity for sure.

Most of the time whenever I hear people say that they are a virgin, it comes off as bashful and apprehensive in a shrinking tone. "Yeah, I'm a virgin. Go ahead and laugh!" It's like admitting you're a virgin is akin to admitting you're a shoplifter. 

Actually, take that back, shoplifters get the bad boy rap, so shoplifters are probably cooler than virgins. 

OK. So, let's go with virgin is like being a 40 year-old working at McDonalds. Yeah, most would say you're a loser. Despite McDonalds being able to give you corporate appeal.

So, anyway, that's how most people react to being a virgin. However, I choose to be different to that.

I think being a virgin is something that takes a lot of guts to do. I could just fall down to the ethos and zeitgeist of the day and just be some sort of sex toy for people to use. However, I think I stand as more than that. I think there is more value to people than that as well. Someone who can see the immense identity of all people without having to "lay them" either. I think that's what makes being a virgin so special. I don't look down when I tell people I'm a virgin. I hold my head up, knowing I'm absolutely doing what's right and essential today in this "Try before you buy" culture.

And that's exactly what we are in now. A "try before you buy" culture. I remember reading a few years ago where people were saying they were doing these "temporary marriages for about 24 months" to see if they would still be together. Like a test run of a car. They would opt out if they said they didn't like it. I remember a lot of people being up in arms over that. However, I didn't see many people up in arms with the premarital sex stance. The reason? "Well, you gotta try it before you buy it, man!" "What's if it's not any good, like a cup of water!" "Man, nobody waits anymore! That's old-school! BORING!"

And we can definitely now see the devastating aftereffects of such a culture, right? Broken homes, adultery, affairs, all that stuff, because we have to "Try before you buy!" I mean, is it really surprising? With the mantra of that we see things like that? I mean, let's break down the statement.

Try before you buy.

So, what you are saying is that a person is no longer a person to you. No, rather that, they are lower than a person to you. You denigrate them instead of elevating them. They are no longer a human to you, matter of fact they are no longer an animal even. Rather, they are a car or some of other lifeless item. They don't matter as a person with a heart. They are a car you drive for a while and then park when they day is over. That's hilarious!

Actually, that's sickening. It's sickening to me. It's a bad statement, and the culture has bought into it. And can we honestly say we are shocked by the bad results? I mean, when you demean humans to the thought of sex toys, what are you expecting but this? I mean, what's the difference between a human and a vibrator if all a person is good for is one thing? Yeah.

So, I applaud those who stand against the culture, virgin or not. We know we are more than just "market" goods. We are better than commodities or sex toys. We will not be cars or little trinkets. We are more than that. I applaud them. 

A sex-free state is truly freeing, indeed.

Well they are cringey. Not because they restrained though, but because they didn't.

That's my no-effort reply. A reply I make pointing out the obvious, but I could do a more in-depth, educational attempt.

Why do these commentors feel this way? I could answer with hypotheticals or ancedotes. But I'm going to skip to the summary.

What these commentators are falling into, is not logical, or emotional. It's less then emotional, a yearning to satisfy some perverse wanting they have, think kinks. They are thinking with kinks. Not emotions. Not logic.

They have grown too used to the toxic sexual culture. "rape culture" is certainly half the picture, but there are more, toxic parts. They have gotten used to thinking with their kinks, and others kinks, and trying to communicate in such ways in a very harmful and primitive manner, "rape culture" intrepretations are one output of that manner. "hookup culture" perhaps another.

Like how dressing professionally signals to another person what you want, the sexuals continue digging deeper into kink-think. Trying to follow some drug-fueled addictive path of their own, while pressing that on others too, in a chase for sex-drugs, acting like little kids or druggies, who may cruelly pick the butterflies wings off, or bully another kid or put the cat in a dryer because it's fun, or maybe they hate butterflies, detest another kids buck-teeth or want to see how the cat will react when exposed to the dryer.
That is what flirting or seducing is, appealing to kink-think, acting like a child.

Am I illustrating this correctly? It's a WIP. But to bring it around full-circle, learning how to kink-think enough to know how to appeal to someone elses kink-think is seen as a learned-talent, "smooth-moves", a sociopathic behaviour.
And while certainly, having social skills is a good things, this is a bit of a perversion of that. Not the same thing.

@tygersongbird Happy belated b-day! I too am a 27 yr old virgin as well, Congrats!

You both mention some really good points especially on the objectifying mindset and kinks.

I'm a virgin, and I'm two years older than the both you. No shame in that.

SCH0206 wrote:I'm a virgin, and I'm two years older than the both you. No shame in that.

Cool! Virgin party! Awesome. But really, that virgin diaries show is the worst. It was trying to show how crazy and bizarre virginity truly is, because they have normalized sex to the extent that they can't believe anyone is still a virgin or chooses to not have sex. They call those people the abnormal freakazoids, yet they will say that "You need to test drive the car", stating that a car is a human. OK, So humans are not even entities who are so lovely in their own way. They're a car you leave out in the rain, sleet, snow, drive for 20 minutes and then park and leave. All for your convenient use.

That's how their relationships are too. A person only good for my immediate convenience, and when I'm done with you, you get out. It's like a 7-11 these people. Pump and go. Oh, let me trade you in for a better model while I'm at it. Yeah, that's objectification at the highest. Lovely.

Again, I ask the question, what is the difference in how their relationships are to how a vibrator is? They're both just good for one thing according to them. Use then move on. It's unbelievable. Crazy. And we wonder why the world is so screwed up?

I'm glad to be a virgin. I don't care if people laugh at me for it. I find myself incredibly blessed, in my eyes. Virgin party!

This topic, I read a nonsensical article on this topic. Wherin the author tries to say that pre-marital sex is feminist. Such cringe. Why?
Its not related. Sex is not a female-only thing. And it came as very little surprise when I brought this issue up to a group that was most likely antifeminist, that they were also drowning in the sex kool aid, and ironically called my sentiments feminist.

There was a difference in their delusions however.

The non-feminist side expressly said that physicality was imporrant to the relationship.
The "feminist" side on the other hand had these delusions that having a sexually loose society makes things less judgemental.

Not only are these against each other but they both dont make sense on their own accord.
For the "feminist" side. You cant control peoples judgements purely using peer pressure. Secondly why do you think your sexual side is magically above judgement? This implies you dont actually identify with it, its double think. Also while this person in particular didnt broach this subject, people who think this way are usually perfectly fine being judged if its POSITIVE judgement. Hypocrisy. Finally while she claims that she dossnt care about peoples sex lives. Shes talking about relationship conduct, In other words, are you saying that you wouldnt care if it was your boyfriend.

For the male side. Sex is superficial. Not much else to say. They tried to say I sounded like a feminist who defended fat is beutiful, Had I time, I would say that fat is related to a healthy lifestyle and is thus a little deeper then superficial and off topic anyway. What I want to say though is how utterly pathetic this group was, rivaling even the childfree community.
It consisted of the following
Mod abusing their power
Deflecting your comments by acting confused (a method to cause you to feel stupid. Picture writing a post and just getting "lol" or "what?" in response)
Deflecting your comments by saying things only meant to confuse you (Mis-intrepeting what you said by taking something extremely literal and then acting like that ends the point)
Deflecting your comments by turning the argument into petty squabbles over what someone really meant (and egregious misuse of logic. Ad hom is when your argument is entirely based on a personal attack. The mod actually literally said that my calling him a moron as a side pass was ad hom. Meanwhile on their side...)
Their insistence that I needed to be married or in a relationship to say these things. Id argue no, and have multiple reasons why. but the most pathetic thing in all this was that they literally devolved into brainless hyterical insecure twats who seemed to think that they were on higher ground for some reason. And my takeaway from this is that

Incels lirerally fall for this schtick?

Da ""secwet cwub of peepee pwaers XD XD XD XD""???

Most of what you mentioned I've experienced whenever I did decide to engage, and what bothers me the most is my sister did many of the things you mentioned here.

An attempt to clarify something that I brought up in my last post.

In other words, are you saying that you wouldnt care if it was your boyfriend.

There's a sentiment that you shouldn't judge people. But what does that mean? Judgements are important. You have to judge someone's influence to consider them a role model, or judge someone's influence to determine if you want to be around them. And when you combine those things, I'm sure most people would concur that you should make good judgement's about someone you intend to have a romantic relationship with.
Now let's take the fact that sexual relationships are tied to romantic relationships. And from that fact, the conclusion is that there is a basis for judging people based on their sexual activities.

However I still have no explanation as for why someone would want to have sexual relations with someone they LIKE. I can easily see the opposite though, where having a clean sexual history, even though it's really nothing impressive, in this day and age it is and can gain a lot of respect and implies someone holds good values, has a level of basic pride in themselves and is worth being friends with.