Withholding Sex as Punishment

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Post by SCH0206 on Tue Mar 13, 2018 11:21 pm

What is your opinion about when some partners withhold sex in committed relationships as punishment? Some "experts" see this as a sign of abuse. Of course, most people (rightly) agree that coerced sex, even in committed relationships, is abuse. But what about when someone threatens to not have sex with their partner if they don't do what they want? I'm not sure what to think except that it seems silly to me because I'm antisexual to begin with.

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Post by Away on Wed Mar 14, 2018 8:27 am

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Post by SCH0206 on Wed Mar 14, 2018 8:41 am

But, what if the person being punished does want sex, but is frustrated because their partner refuses to give it to them to "teach them a lesson?" I've read a few stories about this online.

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Post by Biscotti on Wed Mar 14, 2018 10:36 am

Well I think that's pathetic and slightly amusing that they are manipulated so easily over something that's not important.

Although in relationships often mundane things get blown up to be "relationship-breakers", because as you might guess sexual relationships often overlap with people with relational immaturity.
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Post by Away on Wed Mar 14, 2018 11:02 am

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Post by xenosimiana on Wed Mar 14, 2018 11:46 am

It degrades both parties. The person that can't handle it shows immaturity. The one withholding until they get what they want is manipulative, shows themselves to be a commodity/object, and foolish because it's an extremely absurd way of trying to fix another's behavior and/or gain favor. It also shows the one being denied as a slave and again, immature. I've heard of things happening like that to the point the other person just simply found someone willing to give them what they want.

It's a very poor way of behavior modification.

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Post by SCH0206 on Wed Mar 14, 2018 1:18 pm

Thank you all for your responses. They clarified a lot. Some aspects of sex are mysteries I'm trying to solve.

@x Nacht Klaue x I like your analogy of comparing sex to prostitution. It confounds me why so many people like this type of relationship. Kind of reminds me of an overrated book or TV show many people rave about, and I don't see its appeal.

@Biscotti That is pathetic, especially since sex isn't a need, no matter what so-called experts say. It's ironic because some sexual people say that not being in a relationship is immature.

@xenosimiana Yep, it's totally a lose-lose situation.

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Post by Biscotti on Wed Mar 14, 2018 3:09 pm

On the prostitution analogy I agree but not in the way nacht klaue phrased.

I think sexual relationships ARE like prostitution except instead of sex for money, it's sex for (relationship currency).
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Post by SlagToccata on Sun Mar 25, 2018 10:19 pm

Considering its intended result, it's abuse, plain and simple. Personally, I don't understand how any couple that would resort to something like that could stay together for non-financial reasons. On the other hand, I see this type of thing as an occupational hazard in any sort of bizarre "commitment" situation. If you feel upset at not being able to act out your carnal desires in a way that involves another person, you need to rethink your priorities.
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