Anti-pick up lines and other ways to show you're not interested

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Post by Admin Sat Aug 22, 2015 7:55 pm

Original title: "How to prevent attraction from getting in the way of friendship?"

When you're out in public with others, how do you deal with someone being attracted to you and/or you being attracted to them when you only want to be friends or acquaintances with that person? What makes this difficult is that a lot of this behavior is between the lines; when someone is sexually and/or romantically attracted to another person, they don't say their assumptions outright immediately.

Another issue complicating friendships between men and women is the societal assumption that men and women can't only be friends, and that a friendship must inevitably lead to a romantic-sexual relationship.

For those of you who aren't asexual or aromantic, how do you deal with experiencing unwanted sexual and/or romantic attraction to someone?


Last edited by Admin on Wed Sep 02, 2015 5:46 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Changed title to more accurately reflect what the thread is about)

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Post by Snowflake_ Sun Aug 23, 2015 5:08 am

Admin wrote:When you're out in public with others, how do you deal with someone being attracted to you and/or you being attracted to them when you only want to be friends or acquaintances with that person? What makes this difficult is that a lot of this behavior is between the lines; when someone is sexually and/or romantically attracted to another person, they don't say their assumptions outright immediately.
I thought a lot for this problem as well.
You can't control lust occur, unless you have the power to castrate all of them.
But you can troll some of them ,for eliminate their lust.
People want relationship ,but you want friendship ,then it just doesn't work.I think you have an illusion that you can control the lust of others.(Which is a common problem of F's)
On the other hand,you want friendship is another kind of lust.



Another issue complicating friendships between men and women is the societal assumption that men and women can't only be friends, and that a friendship must inevitably lead to a romantic-sexual relationship.


Case by case.For extremely ugly case ,sexual lust never exist.

For those of you who aren't asexual or aromantic, how do you deal with experiencing unwanted sexual and/or romantic attraction to someone?

I know no one will reply you.
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Post by Darkthrone Sun Aug 23, 2015 7:56 am

Wanting friendship isn't motivated by lust. The definition of lust is essentially pure sexual desire.

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Post by Snowflake_ Sun Aug 23, 2015 7:59 am

Nonamory61 wrote:Wanting friendship isn't motivated by lust. The definition of lust is essentially pure sexual desire.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/lust?s=t

a passionate or overmastering desire or craving (usually followed by for):
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Post by Darkthrone Sun Aug 23, 2015 8:02 am

You skipped the first two definitions that are much more relevant to the context:

noun
1.
intense sexual desire or appetite.
2.
uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite; lecherousness.

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Post by Snowflake_ Sun Aug 23, 2015 8:55 am

Darkthrone wrote:You skipped the first two definitions that are much more relevant to the context:

noun
1.
intense sexual desire or appetite.
2.
uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite; lecherousness.
Don't be stubborn.
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Post by Darkthrone Sun Aug 23, 2015 9:58 am

You're being ridiculous, lol. All I'm saying is that a desire for platonic companionship (friendship) isn't motivated by sexual desire. Sure, you can use the word lust the way you did, but on a forum where the topic of sex is discussed it's a poor choice of wording.

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Post by Snowflake_ Sun Aug 23, 2015 10:01 am

Darkthrone wrote:You're being ridiculous, lol. All I'm saying is that a desire for platonic companionship (friendship) isn't motivated by sexual desire. Sure, you can use the word lust the way you did, but on a forum where the topic of sex is discussed it's a poor choice of wording.
I use this word for "really really want money "as well.
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Post by ForeverPure Tue Aug 25, 2015 12:11 am

Admin wrote:When you're out in public with others, how do you deal with someone being attracted to you and/or you being attracted to them when you only want to be friends or acquaintances with that person?

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Post by SCH0206 Tue Aug 25, 2015 1:15 am

ForeverPure wrote:
Admin wrote:When you're out in public with others, how do you deal with someone being attracted to you and/or you being attracted to them when you only want to be friends or acquaintances with that person?


That was hilarious, and I'm indifferent about Spongebob.

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Post by Admin Mon Aug 31, 2015 6:25 pm

SCH0206 wrote:
ForeverPure wrote:
Admin wrote:When you're out in public with others, how do you deal with someone being attracted to you and/or you being attracted to them when you only want to be friends or acquaintances with that person?


That was hilarious, and I'm indifferent about Spongebob.
Agreed! Very Happy I like the idea of this thread being used for things like that and "anti-pickup lines". If anyone is interested, they could post them in this thread, or could start a new thread for them.

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Post by Panache Tue Sep 01, 2015 12:04 am

Admin wrote:I like the idea of this thread being used for things like that and "anti-pickup lines". If anyone is interested, they could post them in this thread, or could start a new thread for them.
I like that idea!

"Do you come here often?"
"Not anymore."

"Do you want to go out to a movie?"
"Sorry, I've already seen it."

"Would you go out with me sometime?"
"Sorry, I've already made other plans."

"I think I could make you really happy."
"Oh, you're leaving already?"

"You're really pretty."
"What?" *takes out compact mirror* *starts screaming*
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Post by Admin Tue Sep 01, 2015 12:17 am

"My place or yours?"
"Both. You go to your place, and I'll go to mine!"

"Do you want to spend the night together?"
"Well, I do need someone to watch out for the monsters under my bed." (I could use help with a better punchline with this one Neutral )

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Post by SCH0206 Tue Sep 01, 2015 12:39 am

"My place or yours?"
"Both. You go to your place, and I'll go to mine!"

Ha!  That's a clever twist!

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Post by Panache Tue Sep 01, 2015 9:54 pm

Maybe
“Would you spend the night with me?”
“If you bring your own shotgun. You can take the first watch.”

I'm having fun coming up with these things! Very Happy

“Can I buy you a drink?”
“Can I throw it in your face?”
 
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
“Well…” *pulls him close, whispers* “They think they’re my boyfriends, but my doctor says really they’re just the voices in my head.”
 
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
“Why? Do you want one?”
 
“Where could I take you to dinner?’
“My doctor put me on a special diet. Is the morgue okay with you?”
 
“Can I buy you dinner?”
“Alpo, or Purina?”
 
(This one’s somewhat more heavy-duty, might want to skip)
“All you need is to be ####ed by a REAL man!”
“Funny, I was just saying the same thing about you.”
 
“You have beautiful eyes.”
“What? I haven’t shown you my eye collection yet.”
 
“You look hot.”
*feels own forehead* “No, I don’t think so.”
 
“You have a great ***.”
“What? I do?” *turns around and around* “I can’t see it! Where is it?”
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Post by Snowflake_ Tue Sep 01, 2015 10:03 pm

Panache wrote:Maybe
“Would you spend the night with me?”
“If you bring your own shotgun. You can take the first watch.”

I'm having fun coming up with these things! Very Happy

“Can I buy you a drink?”
“Can I throw it in your face?”
 
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
“Well…” *pulls him close, whispers* “They think they’re my boyfriends, but my doctor says really they’re just the voices in my head.”
 
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
“Why? Do you want one?”
 
“Where could I take you to dinner?’
“My doctor put me on a special diet. Is the morgue okay with you?”
 
“Can I buy you dinner?”
“Alpo, or Purina?”
 
(This one’s somewhat more heavy-duty, might want to skip)
“All you need is to be ####ed by a REAL man!”
“Funny, I was just saying the same thing about you.”
 
“You have beautiful eyes.”
“What? I haven’t shown you my eye collection yet.”
 
“You look hot.”
*feels own forehead* “No, I don’t think so.”
 
“You have a great ***.”
“What? I do?” *turns around and around* “I can’t see it! Where is it?”

They may attack you if you troll them like that.
Because that kind of people who want relationship with asexual people are assholes who no one want to choose usually.
Secure attachment people are easily got the signal of you don't want them ,but anxious attachment people often ignore these signals.
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Post by Admin Tue Sep 01, 2015 10:06 pm

Panache wrote:Maybe
“Would you spend the night with me?”
“If you bring your own shotgun. You can take the first watch.”
That's even better! Very Happy

Great job with the other ones too! This is fun! Very Happy


What's your sign?"
"Do not enter"

or

"What's your sign?"
"One Way… out of here!"

"Do you think it's in the stars that we'll be together?"
"As star-crossed lovers!" (this one may backfire though, because a lot of people understand that saying incorrectly)

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Post by Panache Tue Sep 01, 2015 10:28 pm

Admin wrote:What's your sign?"
"Do not enter"
That one got me cracking up! Very Happy  Not enough opportunities for word-play in day-to-day life.

"Have we met? You look familiar."
"####. $2,000 of plastic surgery, wasted!"

"I know how to please a woman."
"Good thing I'm not actually a woman."

"Can I have your number?"
"Sorry, I lost mine in the recession."
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Post by SCH0206 Tue Sep 01, 2015 10:34 pm

Here's one of my own, even though getting hit on is very rare for me.  (Ironically, I would've been glad to be asked out during my K-12 years, but now that I'm long out of my desperate-for-a-boyfriend phase, the idea makes me very uncomfortable.)

"What's your number?"
"Sorry, I don't give my number to strangers."

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Post by Panache Tue Sep 01, 2015 10:46 pm

"Is this seat taken?"
"Not by you."

"You're the girl of my dreams."
"I'm sorry you get nightmares."

"Do you have the time?"
"Sorry, that information is classified."

"Do you have the time?"
"All of it?"
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Post by Admin Fri Sep 04, 2015 4:41 pm

I changed the title of the thread to be more fitting. Great job with these as usual!

"I'd move the Earth for you!"
"Okay. Can you move it so we're on opposite sides of the Earth then?"

"You leave me breathless!"
"This is suffocating."

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Post by Biscotti Wed May 31, 2017 7:51 pm

Hey lmao, soooooooo I got somethin (g) to say!
I'm a memster. heh heh. It's OVER 9000!

Woooooowww so liek that meme is SO old but its still funny hah. OY VEY OI VEY OY VEY.

c
h
o
o

t
r
a
i

n. 
sa better one? I just CANT believe why so many people don't have choo choo trains? Whats up with that? WHATS UP WITH THAT? *cackle*. Should I write to the senator about it? senator. y no choo choo twain.
------------
--------
-

Alright, what I tried to demonstrate here is a good way to turn people off from you. Act like an idiot at inappropriate times (Perhaps when they are trying to talk to you)
The lack of a focus, puts the focus on you and furthermore reveals there's not much going on with you.

I know, I know, trying to picture yourself acting like what I typed probably turns YOU off as well, but that's just proof it works right?

It's brilliant idea.
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Post by Biscotti Wed May 31, 2017 7:59 pm

While I retain my last idea that I typed today (above) works I also want to do a more comprehensive analysis of this. I heard my roomates one time talk about typical things girls are interested in guys. And that got me thinking, you really just need to target those and make sure you don't SEEM to have them.

So in this one I'm going to tackle

Emotional support
That's a thing people typically look for in partners. So what do you do? Act like a jerk? Acting like a jerk will either cause you to look like you're playing an act, or just make you lose friends.

So really, what is the difference between a friend who supports you and a romanticized partner who supports you?

Well I gave it away with romanticized. My suggestion: Support, but make sure you make it clear you're just doing it out of obligation as a friend, or perhaps just to move things along. Not because you think they're infallibly amazing. Duty, not "want".

And avoid giving support if it's pretty clear they're just doing it for attention from you.

Those are my ideas. Though I do hope that as people ago, they mature and these attempts disappear, but idk.
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Post by Admin Wed May 31, 2017 11:13 pm

I'm not too fond of the idea of being intentionally off-putting to keep others away, but I can see some people turning to it as a last resort. It points to a very frustrating problem, and is a symptom of it, when people assume that another person being friendly towards them without being cold or distant must be flirting with them.

Friendships can be close and supportive without them being romantic, and it's sad if friends feel like they have to hold back from being supportive, lest others think they're flirting.

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Post by Biscotti Thu Jun 01, 2017 12:12 am

I'm not too fond of the idea of being intentionally off-putting to keep others away

Yeah, that proves it's effective ding dong  flower flower

Friendships can be close and supportive without them being romantic, and it's sad if friends feel like they have to hold back from being supportive, lest others think they're flirting.

Sliding scale. If you're close, you probably already have that understanding that you're friends. Anyways it's only one tactic of many.

(not) Being physically attractive
Is another controversial one. Not one I'd support actually, as it encroaches on freedom of expres​sion(While the others could be facades). Also, similar to how Admin pointed out, it promotes troubling social connotations. ('nother topic for 'nother time)

(not) Being spontaneous
Jump-cut their perception of you straight to the part when the honeymooning is over. That is, stop being mysterious. What I mean is, be repetitive. Tell the same joke twice, maybe three times on different occasions and pretend you don't realize it.

OOH OHH can't forget this
HAVE AN EATING DISORDER
Claim you're gluten free. No one wants to live with that, srsly

But while these may work for people you want to avoid. Really, the best solution is to just drop the facade and go full antisexual on their backs.
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