Reasons why they do it

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Post by Biscotti Fri Sep 29, 2017 5:05 pm

Reasons why they have sex

Alright. Coming off of Evolutionary psychology, while I think it's a lot of bull, I am going to trust that their population studies they provide are potentially accurate. At least for our purposes. The only thing I worry about is demographics or potential leading questions.

Anywho this group [https://labs.la.utexas.edu/buss/publications/] published a few studies on "reasons why people have sex". Why is this interesting to us? Really, the only things I think we can get from these studies is 
1. Yet more evidence for how pathetic sexuals are, not like we need it.
And more importantly 
2. Getting a list of popular AND unpopular reasons for why people have sex, will enable us to see how we could reduce sexual pressure. For example if it turns out 5% of people say they have sex because of peer pressure. We'll know that peer pressure is a fairly significant culprit. (Taking this philosophically we could say that sex by nature of existing as an option, pressures sex because it accounts as a reason for 100% of sexual interactions. And that's technically true but probably not a good use of resources.)

There's two papers, and the first one covers the first of these goals and also serves as an introduction to the 2nd paper which covers the second goal.


PAPER #1:

PAPER #2:
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Post by SCH0206 Fri Sep 29, 2017 8:03 pm

Biscotti wrote: If you feel like you need a relationship, you're probably not mature enough for one.)

That's a very interesting statement because some people think that being in a relationship makes one mature and not being in one (especially not caring to be in one) is considered immature. I don't understand that logic.

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Post by Admin Fri Sep 29, 2017 11:10 pm

There's a lot to say about this, and this is a great analysis. Very Happy

The reasons out of duty or pressure are among the worst and we should prioritize addressing them. That's not consent to give into sex just to stop a partner from nagging about it. That it happens is so common that it's seen as normal and not recognized as coercion. I noticed there's some overlap with the duty/pressure and love reasons because, and it may be because of peoples' skewed ideas of what love is.

Many people think part of love is doing whatever their partner wants, and isn't not wanting to disappoint one's partner a part of love, or any kind of relationship itself? Some people keep demanding sex from their partners because from their point of view, they want to show their connection to their partners. I'm not excusing it, only explaining one of the possible ways these reasons can overlap. An example of  this when is when one person tells their partner "If you really loved me, you'd do this for me", and their partners often fall for it and don't know how to counter it.

It's not the best example because when someone coerces their partner with the "If you really loved me, you'd do this for me" line, it could be out of a messed up idea of what love is, or they're using the love angle as a calculated way to make their partner cave in because it's often difficult to counter, but it's coercive either way.

Mate guarding tries to use sex as a cover up for a weak or failing relationship. You hear of it all the time when someone says that if a person doesn't have sex with their partner whenever their partner wants, that their partner will cheat on them. Relationships can't be strong if there's the constant fear of a breakup or cheating happening. The "I wanted to ensure the relationship was committed" and "I wanted the person to love me" category shows commitment, and love itself being reduced to sex again. Countering those should be straightforward by showing there's more to relationships than sex, and that it isn't even required.

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