Anti-pick up lines and other ways to show you're not interested

Biscotti wrote:

I'm not too fond of the idea of being intentionally off-putting to keep others away

Yeah, that proves it's effective ding dong 

Friendships can be close and supportive without them being romantic, and it's sad if friends feel like they have to hold back from being supportive, lest others think they're flirting.

Sliding scale. If you're close, you probably already have that understanding that you're friends. Anyways it's only one tactic of many.

(not) Being physically attractive
Is another controversial one. Not one I'd support actually, as it encroaches on freedom of expres​sion(While the others could be facades). Also, similar to how Admin pointed out, it promotes troubling social connotations. ('nother topic for 'nother time)

(not) Being spontaneous
Jump-cut their perception of you straight to the part when the honeymooning is over. That is, stop being mysterious. What I mean is, be repetitive. Tell the same joke twice, maybe three times on different occasions and pretend you don't realize it.

OOH OHH can't forget this
HAVE AN EATING DISORDER
Claim you're gluten free. No one wants to live with that, srsly

But while these may work for people you want to avoid. Really, the best solution is to just drop the facade and go full antisexual on their backs.

I'm writing this in a hurry and may be glossing over some things, but whether those work all depend on the other person, and the latter two can easily backfire, because some people don't want partners who are spontaneous, and there are some people who want their partners to have an eating disorder. I've heard a lot about people forcing themselves on extreme diets just to keep a partner who had no regard for the other person's health, only their appearance and weight, and is controlling. I don't think that's what you meant, but it's something to beware of.

 some people don't want partners who are spontaneous, and there are some people who want their partners to have an eating disorder

Well then uh, if they're so BORING why would you want to be friends with them anyway?
Checkmate.


Anyways, I notice you didn't bring up this

Really, the best solution is to just drop the facade and go full antisexual on their backs.

I concur it's the best idea. Did you want to discuss best ways to go about this?

LEVELS OF going antisexual from highest to lowest.

Level 10. Engage in a full on antisexual vs prosexual argument. All cards on the counter. Ideological intimacy.

Level 7. Engage in an argument about relationships. Point out how sexuality is counter-intuitive to a respectful relationship. While they may deny that sexuality is inherently disrespectful you can objectively point out that it is extremely disrespectful if one person is antisexual, sex-negative or even asexual because at that point it does not respect them as a person, regarding their affiliated ideologies, or preferences.

Level 4. Engage in an argument about maturity. How pursuing something that another person has shut down is immature and is not impressing you. This level is more ad hom based, you might psycho-analyze them or their behaviour. Act as their shrink. If desperate, they'll respond by looking for alternate ways to get your respect. Perhaps doing what you wish for awhile until you come around to them. So it's important to direct their attention somewhere else and make them understand this is indefinite. (Even if it IS possible they mature, at this point making it understood the doors are closed is key)
Lacks the added potential bonus from Levels 10 and 7 of making them perceive you as someone on a different wavelength enough to not chase. Sort of like the "choo choo train" idea but in the other direction to where you make THEM feel like a fool if they are not able to engage your arguments on a similar level.
Sadly, in some cases you'll probably end up teaching them critical thinking skills rather then actually arguing the subject. Of course that's probably just me underestimating these kinds of people.

In case I inadvertently ran Admin off, I DO of course note that these suggestions depend on the person.
xept the last one. Unless you have arguments against it.

I didn't disappear, I've just been very busy lately yet again.

Engaging in an argument is one of the best options, but beware that they may be set in their ways, making arguing a waste of time. I've done that before, with the prosexual extremists when they were trying to push me into sex.

They kept saying that sex is healthy and an expression of love, everyone needs to try it, and thought anyone who doesn't want sex just needs to find the right partner to show them that it isn't so bad. I tried to counter that point by pointing out rape as an act of violence, the existence of STDs, and how sex can be had without any love. I don't remember what any of them said specifically, but I'm sure they believed those were particular situations and that someone shouldn't be dissuaded from sex because of them. They couldn't accept the idea that some people such as ourselves don't ever want it, and aren't willing to change.

There may have been some counterarguments that I missed out on that possibly could've led them to see that we don't want to change, and that their own viewpoints are harmful for pushing unwanted sexuality on others. I was able to analyze their behavior, but wasn't sure how I could use that analysis to my advantage to defend myself from them trampling over my boundaries.

There comes a point in antisexualism argument where you have to concede.
You have to concede that it's impossible to prove sex as OBJECTIVELY good or bad, as it depends on values.
But once you concede that, they have to concede as well. And once they do that, you have successfully argued that sex being good is SUBJECTIVE.
And apart from that  arguing against "trampling over boundaries" is a completely other argument you can win to also bring it to a stalemate.

I have not witnessed your argument.

If you failed to move them into a stalemate then you can bet your cat there were counterarguments you missed out on. Another day where the idiotic triumphs over reasonability is another day our world slips further into hell. And you're experience is hardly even the worst of it.

Furthermore, where they do indeed cross over your boundaries. At that point when boundaries are down. There is no point to hold back. No point in preserving some notion of "civility" designed to keep you complacent. When it comes to self defense, you have the right to fight back.

Which is what we need to do.

And this ties into my suggestion to "act like an off-putting r****d". Because if you can do that, if you can show you truly do not care what anyone thinks about you, then you can do anything.

This kinda reminds me of a saying a teacher who passed away a few decades ago that I think has some truth to it. It was something like: "An organized lie defeats an disorganized truth."

Is it me, or does anyone think this discussion should go in a different thread? When it first started, it was filled with creative and humorous ideas from others. But, now it's started to veer off in a discussion that has nothing to do with the topic. Of course, I can't do anything about it because I'm not the administrator.

Different tone, but the topic was the same. Ways to shut down interest.

Okay. I've read some of the latest posts again and see their relevancy now.

By the way, I have a new anti-pickup line.

"Would you like to go out with me?"
"No thanks. I still believe in cooties."

This statement would have someone look at me like I have two heads, but it'll probably shut them up. I may not respond like this in real life unless they were being obnoxious about it.

@SCH0206 See, u changed the tone by posting a comment. No need for Admin. I think I'll try using line in the near future and see what happens.

Lust. Thought-crimes.

When I was younger I was a bit perplexed that some people legitimately would look at the opposite sex and just let themselves go into some sort of lust fantasies after them.

And that still seems incredibly offensive.

At the same time you can't really sue thought crimes.

But you can fight fire w/ fire.

These anti-pickup lines are fine in passing by comments. But if you're saying them to someone you'll be stuck with for awhile they CAN come off as flirting. I mean they're playful and sort of said like a joke.
I've found a more effective method is to suck out all fun, turn it hostile.

Lemme explain. I'm not saying that you need to be evil and grumpy and a humbug all the time. Only when you're being flirted with. (And even then this is only what I think is effective to shutting down interest.).

"Do you want to go out?"
"No, don't ask again".

Then from there on out, fight fire with fire. If they press into your personal matters press into theirs.

"Come on, what are you doing this Friday?"
"What are you doing? Don't you have any friends or a life?"

Yes it's very rude, but arguably so is pressing like this. The point is not to be hostile, but to be hostile AS LONG AS THEY KEEP DOING THIS. As soon as they give up, then you can start easing relations and doing "damage control"

"*talks about you sexually*"
"*Talk about them in a similarly intrusive manner. Best method is to be incredibly over-the-top and stick to fantasy things like *I want to infect you with a virus that gives anyone you touch cancer and replace your voice box with a chickens so you can only cluck in warning*. Basically try to disturb them w/o sounding like actual threats."

I will tell you why this is effective (circumstancially). And I'll start by citing what one of my old (skinny/political) roomates said to my other old (muscular/self-proclaimed "dumb") roomate regarding his type (His type was "muscular"). Skinny said to muscular, "You could get any girl on campus that you want".
I'm assuming he meant "straight" girl. But this is a mindset I see, you can get any person you want, you just gotta persuade them. (This is most definitely true gender-swapped too, I've heard stories of "pretty" girls that feel entitled to men they want).

"You just got to prove you're likable! If s/he likes you there's no reason why they can't be your romantic partner. I mean, I've fantasized it, that means it's doable!
I mean I might have to change a bit for their preferences, but compromise is what every relationship is about right? Or we'll end up dying alone!"

So funny answers may just end up sounding amusing to these people. 
"Oh, well it's just because they haven't gotten to KNOW me yet. Lemme just get my foot in the door"
Which is another facet of these people's experiences, "fear of rejection". 
"I mean there's no way anyone could NOT like me!?"
I experience it too 
"There's no way anyone could reject antisexualism!"

So making it immediately clear you're no-joke against the idea to the point it makes you such a curmudgeon might change that impression.
"Oh, well, it's just because they have issues."