Everything about everything and nothing

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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by Admin on Wed Oct 07, 2015 12:58 pm

@SCH0206 wrote:I assume there was some dysfunction going on between them, but I won't go as far as breaking the law to get away from someone.

I'd assume it was dysfunctional too. I didn't bother with the survey, so I don't know if the full article went into any depth about whatever dysfunctions there were. Without that information, I can't tell if either party is one to show sympathy towards or not, but even then, a dysfunctional relationship isn't an excuse to break the law like that.

@error wrote:
@Admin wrote:
I agree it's so sad that some people believe women are only sexual objects, and some women believe that's their own worth too. That's part of why I dislike sex, it's associated with objectification, and "using" someone. I don't want to use others nor be used.

Interesting. I mean to start a thread on this when I'm less busy and it will be more in depth than what you guys discussed. I have a bunch of stuff I have to do for school and work but I keep thinking about different topics and I want nothing more but to sit in bed and type.

I'll be looking forward to it when you have the time! I have a lot of work to deal with, and will have more later this year as well.
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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by SCH0206 on Wed Oct 07, 2015 2:15 pm

I just came across a news article that made me shake my head. (Warning: contains a picture of a statue's genitals. I want to point that out if anyone here is offended by nudity.)

http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/study-reveals-average-penis-size-for-men-1.2976372

When I first saw the headline, I thought, "And the point of this study is?" I find it sad when people put more importance on body parts than inner qualities.

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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by Biscotti on Wed Oct 07, 2015 4:34 pm

Yeah you know I was just thinking about the same thing today.
Apparantly there's a slogan for breast cancer awareness called "save the tata's" (And other similar slogans) which is just insulting.
What, are we sexualizing illnesses now?
It makes me wonder if breast cancer is even more of a problem than normal cancer or if the media just fixates on it so much because...sex!!!!
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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by SCH0206 on Wed Oct 07, 2015 4:42 pm

"What, are we sexualizing illnesses now?"

I find that irksome, too, that certain illnesses are treated with levity.

"It makes me wonder if breast cancer is even more of a problem than normal cancer or if the media just fixates on it so much because...sex!!!!"

I can't help but think it's the latter.

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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by Admin on Wed Oct 07, 2015 5:32 pm

I also can't help but think it's the latter. I dislike those campaigns. I've heard of a lot of women being shamed for being "less of a woman" for getting life-saving mastectomies, and in extreme cases, their spouses abandoned them afterwards. A few years ago, there was a celebrity who spoke openly about getting a mastectomy because she knew due to her genetics that she'd almost certainly get cancer, but a lot of the media just focused on her appearance and saw the mastectomy itself as a tragedy. Ugh. I'm afraid that campaigns like that would reinforce the stigma.
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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by Snowflake_ on Thu Oct 08, 2015 12:59 am

@Admin wrote:I also can't help but think it's the latter. I dislike those campaigns. I've heard of a lot of women being shamed for being "less of a woman" for getting life-saving mastectomies, and in extreme cases, their spouses abandoned them afterwards. A few years ago, there was a celebrity who spoke openly about getting a mastectomy because she knew due to her genetics that she'd almost certainly get cancer, but a lot of the media just focused on her appearance and saw the mastectomy itself as a tragedy. Ugh. I'm afraid that campaigns like that would reinforce the stigma.

Many people abandon their partner and children since they get different kinds of diseases.Not just breast cancer.

Anyway ,many people do view their breast as a tool for attention ,that's why wire bra exist.
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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by error on Thu Oct 08, 2015 2:06 am

@Biscotti wrote:Yeah you know I was just thinking about the same thing today.
Apparantly there's a slogan for breast cancer awareness called "save the tata's" (And other similar slogans) which is just insulting.
What, are we sexualizing illnesses now?
It makes me wonder if breast cancer is even more of a problem than normal cancer or if the media just fixates on it so much because...sex!!!!

I'm aware of this movement, but for some reason it never crossed my mind that they are sexualizing it, it's obvious now that you point it out though. And a quick google search tells me there are many other people who think so, too.

@Snowflake_ wrote:
Many people abandon their partner and children since they get different kinds of diseases.Not just breast cancer.

Anyway ,many people do view their breast as a tool for attention ,that's why wire bra exist.

And you know everyone who gets work done on their breasts for cosmetic reasons are way too deeply deluded by the sexualization of an otherwise pretty ordinary body part. There's no turning back for them.

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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by Snowflake_ on Thu Oct 08, 2015 2:29 am

@error wrote:

And you know everyone who gets work done on their breasts for cosmetic reasons are way too deeply deluded by the sexualization of an otherwise pretty ordinary body part. There's no turning back for them.

I think they are lack of mentally attractiveness(almost =secure attachment type),thus use breast implants to increase their sexual attraction.In the long run,they can't maintain a health relationship usually,because breast implants can't change their mindset.But if they don't use breast implants ,they even can't have a chance.The breast implants is the delusion they want.They want people notice their breast ,not their messed up mental.

That's why many people dislike someone who done breasts augmentation surgery being their partner.They can feel something wrong about their mental.
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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by Admin on Mon Oct 19, 2015 10:32 am

If someone just focuses on changing their appearance without changing their mindset that is holding them back from keeping relationships, it's not going to help them. They didn't get to the root of the problem.

On another note, this forum reached its 1,000th post today!
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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by Admin on Wed Oct 28, 2015 5:24 pm

http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0044111

This article suggests that being disgusted by sex is the default; the control group in the experiment was disgusted by sexual stimuli and gross non-sexual stimuli, while the group whose sexual desire was triggered, were significantly less grossed out by either group of tasks and sought them out.
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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by Guest on Wed Nov 04, 2015 6:25 am

@Admin wrote:http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0044111

This article suggests that being disgusted by sex is the default; the control group in the experiment was disgusted by sexual stimuli and gross non-sexual stimuli, while the group whose sexual desire was triggered, were significantly less grossed out by either group of tasks and sought them out.

Yes, this is also a child's natural reaction before being hormonally indoctrinated during puberty.

Pain and disgust (which is also a kind of pain induced in you when seeing something your body deems dangerous, to warn you against consuming or even touching it) is dulled a lot throughout sex, because it would otherwise hurt a lot. I mean, you're chafing body parts together (that's also why women have a natural lubrication mechanism, to prevent even further harm), even causing small injuries, that's also why so many sicknesses get transmitted that way. If pain wasn't dulled, almost no one would do it and we would have died out.

Sex drive isn't only comparable but related to hunger. When hungry, things will look tasty to you that you otherwise wouldn't even look at without gagging. It's a kind of pain/dissatisfaction/irritation that only goes away when satisfied. In this example, when having sex or eating, respectively. Your body induces this pain, sex drive or hunger, in you because it wants to copy itself, or needs food nutrients, so it makes you unhappy until it gets what it wants. The pain then gets dulled with pain-blocking hormones, if you do as ordered (Science thinks these hormones make you "happy", but in actuality they only block the unhappiness that was caused by hunger and arousal, amongst other pain-causers), which we perceive to be a good feeling. It's the feeling of returning to a normal, content state, like scratching an itch, lying down when tired, and just generally doing the pre-programmed bodily "requirements" to make it dose you with pain blockers. And it's not just hunger and sex drive, your body controls you in this way almost everywhere. I only used this as an example because these are both probably two of the most primitive drives. When reaching what buddhists call enlightenment, you are always content and no longer a slave to such carrot-and-stick mind-control programming.

Interesting that people are making studies about that though. Too bad they'll never go more in-depth, they could find out things they don't want to know, after all. It always astonishes me what things science simply doesn't want to find out about sex. That, or they can't/don't want to see how everything correlates.

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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by SCH0206 on Wed Nov 04, 2015 10:38 am

"Yes, this is also a child's natural reaction before being hormonally indoctrinated during puberty."

That's what I don't understand. When one's a child, it's expected to be gross out by sex, but once they reach a certain age, they're "supposed" to like it, and not liking anything sexual related by one's teen's is considered odd or immature.

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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by Admin on Wed Nov 04, 2015 6:24 pm

@Stars.of.Tears wrote:
@Admin wrote:http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0044111

This article suggests that being disgusted by sex is the default; the control group in the experiment was disgusted by sexual stimuli and gross non-sexual stimuli, while the group whose sexual desire was triggered, were significantly less grossed out by either group of tasks and sought them out.

Yes, this is also a child's natural reaction before being hormonally indoctrinated during puberty.

Pain and disgust (which is also a kind of pain induced in you when seeing something your body deems dangerous, to warn you against consuming or even touching it) is dulled a lot throughout sex, because it would otherwise hurt a lot. I mean, you're chafing body parts together (that's also why women have a natural lubrication mechanism, to prevent even further harm), even causing small injuries, that's also why so many sicknesses get transmitted that way. If pain wasn't dulled, almost no one would do it and we would have died out.

Sex drive isn't only comparable but related to hunger. When hungry, things will look tasty to you that you otherwise wouldn't even look at without gagging. It's a kind of pain/dissatisfaction/irritation that only goes away when satisfied. In this example, when having sex or eating, respectively. Your body induces this pain, sex drive or hunger, in you because it wants to copy itself, or needs food nutrients, so it makes you unhappy until it gets what it wants. The pain then gets dulled with pain-blocking hormones, if you do as ordered (Science thinks these hormones make you "happy", but in actuality they only block the unhappiness that was caused by hunger and arousal, amongst other pain-causers), which we perceive to be a good feeling. It's the feeling of returning to a normal, content state, like scratching an itch, lying down when tired, and just generally doing the pre-programmed bodily "requirements" to make it dose you with pain blockers. And it's not just hunger and sex drive, your body controls you in this way almost everywhere. I only used this as an example because these are both probably two of the most primitive drives. When reaching what buddhists call enlightenment, you are always content and no longer a slave to such carrot-and-stick mind-control programming.

People will die without food for long enough, but not sex, but it's difficult to find reliable ways to lessen the sex drive, and not let it cause those feelings of pain and the need to block it. There are a lot of articles about how to reduce it, listing different methods and different herbs that might work, but I haven't found many scientific papers backing those methods up, so it's hard to tell what is actually effective, and what isn't.


Interesting that people are making studies about that though. Too bad they'll never go more in-depth, they could find out things they don't want to know, after all. It always astonishes me what things science simply doesn't want to find out about sex. That, or they can't/don't want to see how everything correlates.

If they knew the truth, then sex would lose its appeal to so many people and not seem like something they "have to" do anymore. The truth would liberate many, but some other people and consumerist culture have a vested interest in sex being shoved everywhere, and of course they'd oppose in-depth research.

@SCH0206 wrote:"Yes, this is also a child's natural reaction before being hormonally indoctrinated during puberty."

That's what I don't understand. When one's a child, it's expected to be gross out by sex, but once they reach a certain age, they're "supposed" to like it, and not liking anything sexual related by one's teen's is considered odd or immature.

I don't understand it either. I always thought that expectation was ridiculous since some people who never had sex achieved a lot, while some people whom think sex is a rite of passage have that as their only "achievement" and brag about how that makes them mature. Rolling Eyes
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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by x Nacht Klaue x on Sat Nov 07, 2015 10:18 am

People who get children become a liiiiittle bit more mature what I have noticed. But sex itself doesn't make anyone mature. The word "mature" and "immature" maybe means someting else to them.

Or maybe they just say it just because children always say ewww at kisses etc.. and when they grow up they kiss. So if they hear from someone in high school "ewww, kisses are gross" they then might hear "oh, you are so immature". They maybe think like that..

Anyone who is grossed out by sex should not care about what they say, because it's bullshit. You are probably highly intelligent, that's why. I have read that people with high intellect has less sex or no sex at all. Also those people with aspergers syndrome who has high IQ often are asexual.

So.. who is immature? :D
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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by Admin on Sat Nov 07, 2015 10:47 am

☆x Pure Life x☆ wrote:People who get children become a liiiiittle bit more mature what I have noticed. But sex itself doesn't make anyone mature. The word "mature" and "immature" maybe means someting else to them.

Or maybe they just say it just because children always say ewww at kisses etc.. and when they grow up they kiss. So if they hear from someone in high school "ewww, kisses are gross" they then might hear "oh, you are so immature". They maybe think like that..

Anyone who is grossed out by sex should not care about what they say, because it's bullshit. You are probably highly intelligent, that's why. I have read that people with high intellect has less sex or no sex at all. Also those people with aspergers syndrome who has high IQ often are asexual.

So.. who is immature? Very Happy

"Maturity" to them means just means adhering to expectations surrounding sex and romance; to not be interested in them past a certain age is seen as "immature", because it is seen as shirking one's future roles and expectations. That kind of mindset just makes sex and romance seem like even more of an obligation than something people willingly seek out. It's also weird that people are expected to enjoy sex and romance, and get shamed for not enjoying it or pleasing their partners well enough, so it's not enough to just date and have sex, but how is someone supposed to enjoy either when they seem like just an obligation to fulfill?

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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by SCH0206 on Sat Nov 07, 2015 11:17 am

Correct. Besides, isn't it more immature to jump into a relationship, and probably have kids before taking the time to stop and think about whether it's right for you or not? To rush to get married and have a family doesn't sound very mature to me. This is why some marriages end up dysfunctional or in a divorce and why a father or mother abandons their child and spouse after a certain amount of time or feel obligated to raise a child they never wanted, which takes a toll on the child.

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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by x Nacht Klaue x on Sun Nov 08, 2015 8:08 pm

I found this on the internet :)

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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by Admin on Sun Nov 08, 2015 8:36 pm

@SCH0206 wrote:Correct. Besides, isn't it more immature to jump into a relationship, and probably have kids before taking the time to stop and think about whether it's right for you or not? To rush to get married and have a family doesn't sound very mature to me. This is why some marriages end up dysfunctional or in a divorce and why a father or mother abandons their child and spouse after a certain amount of time or feel obligated to raise a child they never wanted, which takes a toll on the child.

It is, and it's ridiculous that so many people don't realize it. Marriage and sex are seen as inherently mature things, but it's reckless and immature to marry the first person one sees without any consideration for the future or their own compatibility.

Sadly, I've heard of some people being pushed to marry the first person they dated, because premarital sex is seen as so shameful to them, so if a young couple want sex, they have to marry each other very quickly if they want to get it. No other options are given, not even long-term abstinence of any kind! Those people are still very prosexual despite their restrictions on sex.

This leaves a dilemma though: Couples that marry young just so they can have sex with each other are among the highest risk of being dysfunctional, because they didn't test for compatibility in any way. Would they have been better off testing compatibility first?

Divorce becomes even more difficult when a child is brought into it, and there's the issue of what impact the dysfunctional relationship will have on the child since they will be able to pick up on it. I know someone who is in a loveless marriage purely because they feel obligated to, for the sake of their child, who loves being with the other parent. How can we reconcile these issue with our own viewpoints?

☆x Pure Life x☆ wrote:
I found this on the internet Smile


Great find, and great analogy! Very Happy
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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by x Nacht Klaue x on Tue Nov 10, 2015 12:14 pm

I chatted with a person today. I told him that i'm asexual and want to live in a asexual world and then he said "I wish I was asexual"

And I was wondering if it's really possible for someone who is sexual to become a non-sexual?

Is it really possible? I mean if they themselves wish to be non-sexual... And how about asexuality, can a sexual person become an asexual person?


Last edited by ☆x Pure Life x☆ on Tue Nov 10, 2015 8:13 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by SCH0206 on Tue Nov 10, 2015 3:04 pm

☆x Pure Life x☆ wrote:I chatted with a person today. I told him that i'm asexual and want to live in a asexual world and then he said "I wish I was asexual"

And I was wondering if it's really possible for someone who is sexual to become a non-sexual?

Is it really possible? I mean if they themselves wish to be non-sexual... And how about asexuality, can a sexual person beome an asexual person?

Your experience was rare, yet fantastic. I have to be careful who I reveal my attitudes toward sex to since it's controversial and may subject me to derision or judgement. (It had a couple of times last year, so I keep my anti-sex views here on this forum.)

To answer your question: I'm not sure, but it could be possible. I was able to change from being boy-obsessed to disliking romance, so he may be able to change, too.

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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by x Nacht Klaue x on Tue Nov 10, 2015 8:40 pm

Few of the others (I guess 4) I chatted with before have also wished that they would be asexual :P

I could easily guess why the two of them want to be asexual..
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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by Admin on Tue Nov 10, 2015 10:18 pm

☆x Pure Life x☆ wrote:I chatted with a person today. I told him that i'm asexual and want to live in a asexual world and then he said "I wish I was asexual"

And I was wondering if it's really possible for someone who is sexual to become a non-sexual?

Is it really possible? I mean if they themselves wish to be non-sexual... And how about asexuality, can a sexual person become an asexual person?

Congratulations on finding someone understanding! Smile

Every so often in asexual spaces, I see non-asexuals asking how or if they can become asexual, and they feel discouraged when they're told that they can't be. They're told they can choose to never have sex, but that's not enough of an answer because they know they can abstain for life, but it still doesn't say how they can effectively deal with unwanted sexuality in the first place. Experiencing sexual attraction means having a body working against oneself. They're among the people I want this site to reach out to the most, and could easily see them being part of this community, and I've met some who were part of the antisexual community before.
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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by x Nacht Klaue x on Tue Nov 10, 2015 10:48 pm

Thanks and yay :))

It Means a lot to me that people accept me and respect me for who I am :)
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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by error on Sat Nov 14, 2015 5:44 pm

@Admin wrote:Congratulations on finding someone understanding! Smile

Every so often in asexual spaces, I see non-asexuals asking how or if they can become asexual, and they feel discouraged when they're told that they can't be. They're told they can choose to never have sex, but that's not enough of an answer because they know they can abstain for life, but it still doesn't say how they can effectively deal with unwanted sexuality in the first place. Experiencing sexual attraction means having a body working against oneself. They're among the people I want this site to reach out to the most, and could easily see them being part of this community, and I've met some who were part of the antisexual community before.
I don't know what a sex drive feels like so it's easy for me to just not have sex and not be controlled, simply by default of not wanting it. So this is one of those issues I don't understand in its entirety. Merely abstaining is only half of the battle for sexual people, it requires doing nothing. The other half is, as you said, having a body working against oneself. I imagine a normal libido, let alone a high one, gets annoying and takes up mental space without the person wanting it to. They probably won't become completely asexual, but in the end, I still believe one can choose (to varying extent) how much they are affected by sexuality. They could masturbate to relieve the pressure. They could prioritize other things above sexuality. They could occupy more of their time with activities that require mental energy. They could stop watching porn if they do that (everyone should). Maybe these suggestions would bring it down a notch or two over time, but they will continue to feel sexual attraction around certain people or get the urge at completely random times. However, this shouldn't have to translate to "I must scratch my itch and it must involve another person" or "this is an important endeavor I must undertake because my body is telling me so". That's a personal choice.

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Re: Everything about everything and nothing

Post by Admin on Sat Nov 14, 2015 6:13 pm

☆x Pure Life x☆ wrote:Thanks and yay Smile)

It Means a lot to me that people accept me and respect me for who I am Smile

I remember you mentioned several people in-person being unsupportive, so I'm especially glad you did find someone who accepted you for who you are.

@error wrote:
@Admin wrote:Congratulations on finding someone understanding! Smile

Every so often in asexual spaces, I see non-asexuals asking how or if they can become asexual, and they feel discouraged when they're told that they can't be. They're told they can choose to never have sex, but that's not enough of an answer because they know they can abstain for life, but it still doesn't say how they can effectively deal with unwanted sexuality in the first place. Experiencing sexual attraction means having a body working against oneself. They're among the people I want this site to reach out to the most, and could easily see them being part of this community, and I've met some who were part of the antisexual community before.
I don't know what a sex drive feels like so it's easy for me to just not have sex and not be controlled, simply by default of not wanting it. So this is one of those issues I don't understand in its entirety. Merely abstaining is only half of the battle for sexual people, it requires doing nothing. The other half is, as you said, having a body working against oneself. I imagine a normal libido, let alone a high one, gets annoying and takes up mental space without the person wanting it to. They probably won't become completely asexual, but in the end, I still believe one can choose (to varying extent) how much they are affected by sexuality. They could masturbate to relieve the pressure. They could prioritize other things above sexuality. They could occupy more of their time with activities that require mental energy. They could stop watching porn if they do that (everyone should). Maybe these suggestions would bring it down a notch or two over time, but they will continue to feel sexual attraction around certain people or get the urge at completely random times. However, this shouldn't have to translate to "I must scratch my itch and it must involve another person" or "this is an important endeavor I must undertake because my body is telling me so". That's a personal choice.

I can't know what that's like first-hand either; what I've described all comes from second-hand accounts, but many of them mentioned not wanting to act on their libido at all, and never look at porn, and would rather get rid of their libido than act on it in any way. It can still be a bother.

Here's a thread related to that issue: http://iamfortress.forumotion.com/t78-non-hormonal-methods-of-lowering-libido

I've heard some say that keeping preoccupied with other things is a good option though. I've heard for some people at least, that continuing to abstain may eventually lower libido, but it'd be good to find things that are verified to lower it much more quickly.
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