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Acinaces
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Post by Acinaces Fri Jan 06, 2017 4:44 pm

Heya. I've been searching for a community like this for a little while, and I'm really happy to be there.
I always identified as "asexual", but I knew it was something more. Until I discovered the term "antisexual", which felt more... more me.
The first thing that comes to my mind when someone talk about sex, nudity and vulgarity is that it's wrong. Disgusting. I don't understand why our society revolve around it. Why it revolves around something so insignificant as "sex" (and not procreation). There is so much more to life and love than that. But, I do understand that it's important to a lot of people, and it's not my place to judge.
Honestly, I wish I had a different view of sex, that I wasn't so "against" it, but I just cannot. It just feels so wrong to me. 
I'm sorry if it seems like I'm rambling, I'm not used to talk about it, and I do not know how to talk about it.

It might have something to do with the fact that I'm still fairly young, or maybe because of my mental health. Or maybe there isn't an answer to that, and that is just who I am. I kept on telling myself that I was broken, but seeing others people with the same view helped me. 
Honestly, I am lost. I don't know why I feel this way, why I can't accept the idea of sex. Even procreation. Even between animals. It's supposed to be normal, but it just feels terribly wrong to me. It gives me nightmares. I can't even think about being in a relationship because of this. Even the view of someone asking if I'd like to do it terrifies me. I might just be overdramatic. Or maybe some people in this community feel the same way.

Again, I'm rambling. I really have big troubles talking about it. 
Anyway, I'm here to meet people like me and help myself. I hope I didn't make you feel uncomfortable with my rambling. 

And one last thing, english is not my native language, so I'm sorry if I make a lot of typos.

Thank you for taking the time to read my introduction !
Acinaces
Acinaces

Posts : 5
Join date : 2017-01-06
Age : 24
Location : France

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Post by lawrence Fri Jan 06, 2017 5:01 pm

Bonjour à tous et bienvenue!

I fully agree. I'm your age and I've always been disgusted by it. You're not mentally ill. You're just smarter than everyone else. It's normal for animals, sure. But we humans were given our brains, notre sensibilité, for a reason.

I was in a relationship once with an Eastern European girl who dumped me after two months merely because I wouldn't do anything sexual with her. I had already made it clear from the start that I did not want anything of that nature, and yet she insisted and insisted until she eventually cheated on me. But I believe that relationships can exist without sex. Such is the purest love, the purest empathy that one can ever derive from another fellow human being.

Enjoy your time here! (I mean I just joined, ha)
lawrence
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Post by Admin Fri Jan 06, 2017 5:13 pm

Welcome! What you said wasn't a problem! Are you worried about being wrong because of how society revolves around it so much? It can be easy to feel wrong for not wanting sex because of that, but you aren't wrong for how you feel, and your age and mental health won't invalidate it either.

There can be a lot of factors behind being antisexual, and not all factors are ones we have control over, but ultimately, it's your decision if you are. Here's a related thread I started about this: https://iamfortress.forumotion.com/t12-how-freely-given-of-a-choice-is-it

Some people feel repulsed at the thought of sex, and feel that repulsion on a very deep level, like the idea of engaging in it feels fundamentally wrong for them. This repulsion can feel physical, psychological, or both. Some are distressed over it, but most people I've met who feel repulsed are confident that they never want to change, although some of them may feel distress from feeling isolated, but you aren't alone in how you feel!

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Post by Acinaces Fri Jan 06, 2017 5:25 pm

Hello lawrence !
I completely agree. True love can exist without sex. Sex is only a plus, for people who enjoy it. I'm glad that there is someone of my age that thinks the same way !
As for my mental health, I do have a professionally diagnosed social phobia and depression, which probably doesn't help with the situation, but that might be unrelated. I need to let go the idea that being antisexual is not normal, and caused by something. Whoops, I'm rambling again. But anyway, thank you for welcoming me ! (Is that even proper english ?)

And hello Admin ! Thank you very much for this, reading that helps a lot. I've seen some of your threads before joining the forum, and you have a really interesting (and comforting) point of view.

I've only joined this forum an hour ago and I already feel way better. It's really amazing to finally meet people that thinks the same way, and I'm looking forward to learn more about it and feel better !
Acinaces
Acinaces

Posts : 5
Join date : 2017-01-06
Age : 24
Location : France

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Post by SCH0206 Fri Jan 06, 2017 5:44 pm

Whoa, two new members in the same day? That's never happened before! And, what a coincidence that you share the same age as lawrence. This is a sign that the antisexual message is expanding.

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Post by lawrence Fri Jan 06, 2017 6:31 pm

Yup, your English is fine. If you need help with it feel free to ask me, I have a somewhat competent grasp of French although my Russian is better.

It's understandable that you're depressed in a world as sick as ours. But take hope and keep pushing on. Someday there'll be a light at the end of the tunnel.
lawrence
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Post by xenosimiana Sat Jan 07, 2017 12:46 am

Acinaces wrote:Hello lawrence !
I completely agree. True love can exist without sex. Sex is only a plus, for people who enjoy it. I'm glad that there is someone of my age that thinks the same way !
As for my mental health, I do have a professionally diagnosed social phobia and depression, which probably doesn't help with the situation, but that might be unrelated. I need to let go the idea that being antisexual is not normal, and caused by something. Whoops, I'm rambling again. But anyway, thank you for welcoming me ! (Is that even proper english ?)

And hello Admin ! Thank you very much for this, reading that helps a lot. I've seen some of your threads before joining the forum, and you have a really interesting (and comforting) point of view.

I've only joined this forum an hour ago and I already feel way better. It's really amazing to finally meet people that thinks the same way, and I'm looking forward to learn more about it and feel better !
I also want to drop by and say hi, and don't worry too much about rambling, get it all out. There's a venting section for it. Just like everyone on here has said, nothing's wrong with how you feel and I also agree and it's been of interest to me for a while of love existing without sex. Now for me, I still find it a problem that people enjoy sex, even though I understand how it makes most people feel physically and mentally, it's just something that I find annoying most of the time and wished it never existed. And there's times where I feel the opposite, which bothers me even more...but I feel that you'll be alright and figure it out.

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Post by Bobbb1 Sat Jan 07, 2017 6:46 am

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Last edited by Sigh... on Fri Mar 29, 2019 9:36 am; edited 1 time in total

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Post by Biscotti Sat Jan 07, 2017 7:10 pm

Oh france is cool!
I mean I haven't been there. But the romanticized, idealized version you see in movies like Ratatouille or Rick Steves Europe is cool.  Rolling Eyes

I'm sorry that you feel distressed about your views on sex, but I don't think they're wrong. 
If you can at all voice your opinions for why it's wrong maybe that would help you? Instead of shutting down when thinking about it. I personally find it easier to articulate on forums like this (Something I'm trying to fix) maybe it would be for you too.
Even then, you don't need any particular reason to refuse sex, it just might help.

I want to sincerely welcome you to the forum in any case! 2017 is starting out strong.
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